My own biggest concern with my essay is that it’s very repetitive. I would like to change the order of certain paragraphs around, and maybe throw more ideas into the paper. I think this could help make each paragraph feel different from the one before. Positive feedback I received from the peer reviews were that I explained my argument well and used evidence from the reading. Kayla Midolo commented “The ideas you have talked about are expanded really well and you did a good job at explaining them.” I think my strongest use of Dweck’s speech is in my second paragraph. In that paragraph I attempted Barclay’s formula to connect the Dweck speech with “The Coddling” article. In that paragraph I defined a growth mindset and how it could be used on college campuses. For revisions of this Meg Cutter wrote “I would suggest trying to connect it more to the points made above,” with reference to a Dweck quote that I had included. I don’t think there is one specific area that used “The Coddling” text the best because the article is heavily referenced, either through quoting or paraphrasing. I also took a lot of inspiration and ideas from that article. My peers suggested in class that I explain the text more and to tie the text in with other ideas. For example Kayla Midolo commented, “There is back and forth between the two other articles before introducing Roth, because of this try to connect also with Lukianoff and Haidt’s article”. My two biggest challenges according to my peers are that I was repetitive, and I could implement the Roth article into my essay in a better way. To stop repeating myself I think I need to thoroughly comb through my paper to catch any areas I accidentally repeated myself or said something too similar to another section of my essay. Kayla Midolo gave advice that I think will be helpful to better introduce Roth’s article. She commented “add more about Roth connection to the other article and expand talking about Roth instead of just in the last paragraph.” I am going to take this into consideration and will bring Roth’s ideas into my intro paragraph, and help to use his ideas to support my own. Finally, to help whoever is reading my essay to completely understand my perspective I will do three things. I will explain the information behind my sources a little more before I quote them. I will restructure my intro paragraph so it’s a little neater and does a better job explaining my argument. Lastly, I will do a better job at citing my information so the reader isn’t confused about where any evidence came from.